Have you ever had the feeling that you’re all alone and lonely at the same time for real? Can you believe it? Have you ever been so angry at your loved ones that you don’t want to talk to them or don’t want to hear their voices or even look at them or even their pictures, and still, keep crying because you miss them so badly? You need them, you want them, but you don’t want to be with them any more! Have you ever been trying so hard to get away from them all, from whoever that connects you to them, from your past…, and then try to forget, although it hurts, it hurts so bad that you feel melting inside? And then you realise no one cared or perhaps they didn’t even notice your empty space… then you cry, because you are deeply saddened because you know you’re not in their hearts no more. So, it’s true, out of sight, out of mind!
And before all that, have you ever tried to talk to them, to reason with them, try to make them understand why you do what you do, try to show them you understand them, try to be good with them, try to do good, and yet … you are not good enough for them, you are full of flaws and impurities, you are the source of any problems that you face, and you’re blamed for everything that happens in you life and everything that others do to you! The slightest complaint or unsatisfactory from you, and they keep reminding you of what sacrifices they had done for you, and they put all their life on hold for you, so that you have to close your mouth and be grateful to them!! And your eyes are closed and you are their slave, emotionally. Until you open your eyes although you don’t want to. You see they bought you for free, just because they needed you to glue back their lives together, you’re the material to hold all the pieces together and yet you should be thanking them!!! Who does that?
And finally you stop talking to them, because you want to protest! You want them to come and ask you why, you expect them, after all they’re your loved ones and … well… from them, no sign of questioning your protest, no sign of looking into their own behaviours…, only blaming you and trying to make you feel bad, and trying to tighten the emotional chain so you break again and say yes to their wills. 60 days pass and there’s a massage, your heart beats, maybe they finally realise their actions which made you so sad, but wait… oh, no remorse, just tightening the chain again after this long!
I don’t understand how could they?!! Are they that selfish, do they see themselves as gods?? Do they really??!
moonmehr 